A friend confessed to me that she has cheated on her husband. I am good friends with her husband and close to their young children.
She wants me to be supportive, but I am struggling. She told the man she slept with that she was recently separated — he initially rejected her when he thought she was married. She says she wants to escape the clutches of being a mum and a wife and experience a thrill again.
I am not convinced th e affair is over: I feel awful knowing all this and still Who had the affair her family.
She says I am the only one who knows. How can I be there for her when I think what she has done is so wrong? This is what I am concentrating on. Friendships can and should withstand roads, but we all have our portcullis moments.
That is quite a statement. It is not your job to be a marriage counsellor to this couple, but if you can concentrate less on the infidelity and the deceit, more on "Who had the affair" emotions going on behind them, this may help you feel more supportive to your friend: Her marriage sounds broken and comes across as very unhappy.
I wonder how old her children are. This fling sounds like a huge distress flare. Can you help her work through these feelings, help her be curious as to why she is doing this, rather than focus on the logistics of her affair?
It is heady and exciting for your friend to reveal the details and meet up with the new man. Those are the bits she understandably wants to share with you.
But perhaps once the first flush of this has abated you could ask her what she wants to do, where she wants to be, long term: That may be hard for everyone to accept; this Who had the affair may be a way for her not to think about that. Are you worried you are complicit simply by knowing about it?